Love Junkie

I do believe that sometimes people trigger old behaviors that we are trying to change about ourselves. Sometimes you may find yourself working towards recovery by changing old patterns, beliefs and behaviors; however, unfortunately someone new comes into your life and you find yourself repeating these same old behaviors that you have been working hard to change. Thats is the powerful effect of this addiction, if you are not aware of your triggers or high risk situations, you find yourself falling back into the unhealthy lifestyle and becoming readjusted to the chaos again. Sarah’s problem stemmed from abandonment and dysfunctional family relationships. She was uncomfortable being alone or loving herself and she sought validation through other men. Her past history included entertaining multiple men at once so that their would never be a gap in between someone providing this validation that she needed. It is funny, because she used to say to herself and joke with her friends th...

When The Love Addict experiences Withdrawal Symptoms............... A few weeks ago I discussed relationships in my group therapy session. A lot of my clients shared how they struggled with toxic relationships in their active addiction and how they were unable to stop despite the consequences. That is the thing about process addictions such as love addiction. Despite the consequences, despite the emotional and physical pain, the inability to stop seems impossible. No matter how hard she tries to distant herself by blocking his phone number or deleting him off social media, she somehow finds herself reaching out to him, her point of contact, which is what we call this in recovery. Just like the individual who experiences withdrawal symptoms when they stop using a chemical, is the same thing that the individual who struggles with love addiction experiences. People who have an addiction to love or women who love too much experience similar withdrawal sym...

                                            How Did You Learn To Love That Toxic Man?  I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine and we got on the topic of relationships. He was sharing with me a past previous experience, where he has dated a woman who was very insecure and every time he would give her a compliment, she would reject it. He stated that this was a major turn off for him and stated “ I thought to myself, did she feel like she did not deserve this and what does that say about her”. This literally hit me like a train. This was me……. I was literally the girl that never felt that she deserved good things and would accept the minimum because that is what i thought i deserved.  It got me thinking about dysfunctional relationships and how women who come from a broken home may have the same mind set. Imagine growing up in a hou...

How Did You Learn To Value Yourself? Many people who struggle with love addiction struggle with the concept of valuing themselves. They have learned to value themselves through the opinion of others and   have a tendency to put others above themselves. They do not know what it means to value themselves or truly love themselves, so they learn to accept things from others that they do not deserve. Unfortunately for the love addict, they enter into relationships that are toxic and chose intimate partners who strive off of their helplessness. I was sharing a recent incident with a friend and they pointed something out to me. They stated “ you always put someone else’s needs above your own, why is that?”. That was the first time that it hit me at full speed. I’ve always put others needs above my own, but I never really thought about it, it was just natural for me to do so. I said to myself” I really do that don’t I?”. my response was that I didn’t know why. ...

Symptoms Of Codependency—Expanded Edition | Codependency Quiz

This has been adopted from Susan Peabody who is the author of Addicted to Love. These questions will assist you in determining if you are addicted to love. If you can answer yes to more than a few of the following questions, you are probably a love addict. Remember that love addiction comes in many forms, so even if you don’t answer yes to all of the questions you may still be a love addict. You are very needy when it comes to relationships. You fall in love very easily and too quickly. When you fall in love, you can’t stop fantasizing—even to do important things. You can’t help yourself. Sometimes, when you are lonely and looking for companionship, you lower your standards and settle for less than you want or deserve. When you are in a relationship, you tend to smother your partner. More than once, you have gotten involved with someone who is unable to commit—hoping he or she will change. Once you have bonded with someone, you can’t let go. When you are attracted to some...

Love addiction in the psychology jargon is termed " a process" addiction. Like an addiction to drugs or alcohol there are certain criterias that must be met in order for it to be considered an addiction. If we look at the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorder, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) it breaks it down into 11 categories which atleast 2-3 criterias should meet the criteria in order for it to be classificated as a substance addiction.  The ones that I would like to highlight are tolerance ( needing more and more of the substance to achieve a desired effect) and withdrawal ( physical symptoms one experiences as a result of dependency on the substance). This relates to the love addiction in that you develop a tolerance, where you need more and more of your point of contact to feel better. Also, you experience physical withdrawal symptoms when you are no longer around that point of contact. I believe it is important to note that despite how this problem may int...