Skip to main content




How Did You Learn To Value Yourself?


Many people who struggle with love addiction struggle with the concept of valuing themselves. They have learned to value themselves through the opinion of others and  have a tendency to put others above themselves. They do not know what it means to value themselves or truly love themselves, so they learn to accept things from others that they do not deserve. Unfortunately for the love addict, they enter into relationships that are toxic and chose intimate partners who strive off of their helplessness. I was sharing a recent incident with a friend and they pointed something out to me. They stated “ you always put someone else’s needs above your own, why is that?”. That was the first time that it hit me at full speed. I’ve always put others needs above my own, but I never really thought about it, it was just natural for me to do so. I said to myself” I really do that don’t I?”. my response was that I didn’t know why. It made me think of others who do the same thing in their relationships with others. As I had mentioned before, people who have an addiction to love, also struggle with codependency, establishing healthy boundaries with others and putting themselves first. My question to you, is where did you learn how to value your self or who taught you how to value yourself?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Healthy Versus Unhealthy Relationships

                                Love Makes Me Accept Crazy Things                         I have to give some back story on how this topic for my blog even came about. As I was sitting down messaging my clients, I had Jerry Springer broadcasting in the background. Normally, I don’t watch this, (I am serious); but for some reason ended up on this episode. Anyways, as I began watching this, the topic was regarding a man who was confessing to his girlfriend his faithfulness and how he would never cheat on her. She gave him an ultimatum that if he wanted to continue the relationship, then he would need to drop his female friends. Needless to say, he was cheating and this resulted in a full on fist-fight with other woman who he was having an affair with. Jerry asked him, do you love this woman? He stated “yes”, she ...

Are Unhealthy Relationships The Norm?

I was sitting in the office of my colleague and we started talking about relationships. She is an older lady and has been in the field for over 20+ years, so I always love to get her feedback and wisdom. While I was talking to her, it dawned on me that many people learned how to have an UN-healthy relationship; never really learned what a healthy relationship consisted of. When you look back at some of the relationships you’ve had, do you ever ask yourself what was I thinking? How did I ever tolerate or accept something like this? Its funny how when we remove ourself from a toxic or unhealthy relationship and have time ( Sometimes you have nothing but time after a relationship ends) to reflect on it, we find that what we had was never deserving of our energy or our time. See, the problem with having a pattern of unhealthy relationships, is we have nothing to judge what a healthy relationship is. In other words we have nothing to compare it too, because we have never seen or known on...

What Is Love Addiction ?

Love addiction in the psychology jargon is termed " a process" addiction. Like an addiction to drugs or alcohol there are certain criterias that must be met in order for it to be considered an addiction. If we look at the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorder, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) it breaks it down into 11 categories which atleast 2-3 criterias should meet the criteria in order for it to be classificated as a substance addiction.  The ones that I would like to highlight are tolerance ( needing more and more of the substance to achieve a desired effect) and withdrawal ( physical symptoms one experiences as a result of dependency on the substance). This relates to the love addiction in that you develop a tolerance, where you need more and more of your point of contact to feel better. Also, you experience physical withdrawal symptoms when you are no longer around that point of contact. I believe it is important to note that despite how this problem may int...