How Did You Learn To Love That Toxic Man?

                                            How Did You Learn To Love That Toxic Man? 

I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine and we got on the topic of relationships. He was sharing with me a past previous experience, where he has dated a woman who was very insecure and every time he would give her a compliment, she would reject it. He stated that this was a major turn off for him and stated “ I thought to myself, did she feel like she did not deserve this and what does that say about her”. This literally hit me like a train. This was me……. I was literally the girl that never felt that she deserved good things and would accept the minimum because that is what i thought i deserved.  It got me thinking about dysfunctional relationships and how women who come from a broken home may have the same mind set. Imagine growing up in a household where your father was absent. You were raised solely by your mother who worked just to provide your basic needs. How could you ever learn what you deserved? if you never had a father to model this behavior for you and your mother. What about about the father who may not be absent but is physically or verbally abusive towards your mother? this becomes the model of what relationships may look like for you.  when the woman does not have a healthy model of relationships at home, she does not have a healthy concept of what a healthy relationship looks like. Nevertheless, her tolerance for dysfunction is high. She is able to tolerate more just a little bit more. She may tolerate disrespect, abuse and settle for less than she deserves. We got into the conversation on standards that are normal things women should have from a man, such as opening a car door, or receiving flowers. if a woman does not generally receive these things, then she may be willing to tolerate things because she is not accustom to this standard? what are your thoughts?