Symptoms Of Codependency—Expanded Edition

What Is Love Addiction ?

Love addiction in the psychology jargon is termed " a process" addiction. Like an addiction to drugs or alcohol there are certain criterias that must be met in order for it to be considered an addiction. If we look at the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorder, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) it breaks it down into 11 categories which atleast 2-3 criterias should meet the criteria in order for it to be classificated as a substance addiction. The ones that I would like to highlight are tolerance ( needing more and more of the substance to achieve a desired effect) and withdrawal ( physical symptoms one experiences as a result of dependency on the substance). This relates to the love addiction in that you develop a tolerance, where you need more and more of your point of contact to feel better. Also, you experience physical withdrawal symptoms when you are no longer around that point of contact. I believe it is important to note that despite how this problem may int...

When Was The Last Time You Married That Man In Your Mind?

Have you ever been obsessed with someone? I mean obsessed to the point where you cant stop thinking about them. From the moment you wake up, to the moment you go to bed. They occupied your mind. It may even feel like you have no control; you try to distract yourself, however you find your mind returning back to your point of contact. You obsess about what this person is doing, fantasize about what you would like this person to be doing or what your plans for the future may entail. Let me tell you how fantasy can be very toxic for the love addict. My mom used to make this joke to me that “ I marry everyone I date”, meaning that by the time we get together, I've already picked out the wedding dress, the venue, where we are going to live and what our children will look like. The thing about obsessing and fantasizing about someone, is that often you create an image of this person that does not exist and you live this image in your head. When the person does not live up to th...

Are Unhealthy Relationships The Norm?

I was sitting in the office of my colleague and we started talking about relationships. She is an older lady and has been in the field for over 20+ years, so I always love to get her feedback and wisdom. While I was talking to her, it dawned on me that many people learned how to have an UN-healthy relationship; never really learned what a healthy relationship consisted of. When you look back at some of the relationships you’ve had, do you ever ask yourself what was I thinking? How did I ever tolerate or accept something like this? Its funny how when we remove ourself from a toxic or unhealthy relationship and have time ( Sometimes you have nothing but time after a relationship ends) to reflect on it, we find that what we had was never deserving of our energy or our time. See, the problem with having a pattern of unhealthy relationships, is we have nothing to judge what a healthy relationship is. In other words we have nothing to compare it too, because we have never seen or known on...

Love Junkie

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