Skip to main content

Healthy Versus Unhealthy Relationships
















                                Love Makes Me Accept Crazy Things 

                      
I have to give some back story on how this topic for my blog even came about. As I was sitting down messaging my clients, I had Jerry Springer broadcasting in the background. Normally, I don’t watch this, (I am serious); but for some reason ended up on this episode. Anyways, as I began watching this, the topic was regarding a man who was confessing to his girlfriend his faithfulness and how he would never cheat on her. She gave him an ultimatum that if he wanted to continue the relationship, then he would need to drop his female friends. Needless to say, he was cheating and this resulted in a full on fist-fight with other woman who he was having an affair with. Jerry asked him, do you love this woman? He stated “yes”, she then replied that “ love doesn’t make you do crazy things like this, this isn’t love”. You are asking yourself, did she really use Jerry Springer as an introduction. Yes…..I did! I know that this is a fictional tv show, but her response was real; so is the reality many of us live by. 

Many people may not have had the appropriate role models in their lives to model what healthy versus unhealthy relationships are suppose to look like. They come from a dysfunctional home. Consequently, it's not uncommon for them to repeat the same patterns and enter into dysfunctional relationships as well. If you grew up seeing your parents constantly fighting and disrespecting each other; its not surprising that your relationship may have similar characteristics, where you find yourself fighting repeatedly even to the point of physical or verbal abuse. It's insane how we can rationalize unhealthy behaviors with “ he loves me, he didn’t mean to put his hands on me…..it only happened once…..everyone fights like this…don’t they? Girl….love makes you do crazy things….Let us pause for a moment while I knock some sense into you( figuratively of course).  No Honey, love does not make you do these things or make someone disrespect or mistreat you. We need to stop normalizing toxic behaviors and categorizing it as “Love”. 


Question of the day: Who has been your role model in your personal life to illustrate/model what a healthy relationship is suppose to look like? 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Was The Last Time You Married That Man In Your Mind?

Have you ever been obsessed with someone? I mean obsessed to the point where you cant stop thinking about them. From the moment you wake up, to the moment you go to bed. They occupied your mind. It may even feel like you have no control; you try to distract yourself, however you find your mind returning back to your point of contact. You obsess about what this person is doing, fantasize about what you would like this person to be doing or what your plans for the future may entail. Let me tell you how fantasy can be very toxic for the love addict. My mom used to make this joke to me that “ I marry everyone I date”, meaning that by the time we get together, I've already picked out the wedding dress, the venue, where we are going to live and what our children will look like. The thing about obsessing and fantasizing about someone, is that often you create an image of this person that does not exist and you live this image in your head. When the person does not live up to th
2 comments
Read more

Are Unhealthy Relationships The Norm?

I was sitting in the office of my colleague and we started talking about relationships. She is an older lady and has been in the field for over 20+ years, so I always love to get her feedback and wisdom. While I was talking to her, it dawned on me that many people learned how to have an UN-healthy relationship; never really learned what a healthy relationship consisted of. When you look back at some of the relationships you’ve had, do you ever ask yourself what was I thinking? How did I ever tolerate or accept something like this? Its funny how when we remove ourself from a toxic or unhealthy relationship and have time ( Sometimes you have nothing but time after a relationship ends) to reflect on it, we find that what we had was never deserving of our energy or our time. See, the problem with having a pattern of unhealthy relationships, is we have nothing to judge what a healthy relationship is. In other words we have nothing to compare it too, because we have never seen or known on
1 comment
Read more