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Showing posts from October, 2017

Being The Other Woman....

Many women want a man who will love and respect them, but they do not love or respect themselves.  Growing up, I used to hear older people say " treat people the way you would want to be treated”. Unfortunately, I think a lot of women treat men better than they treatment themselves in the name of love. I've always struggled with loving and valuing myself, especially when it came to relationship with men. I remember as a teenager, fantasizing, how i wanted my boyfriends to treat me. I wanted to be treated like a princess and if they treated me anything less than, out the door the would go. When i reflect back on this, i cant help but laugh because Ive dated men who I tolerated so many things from and that was no way to treat a princess if you ask me. Always, I realized how much i lacked self -love when I was in college. I always struggled with my self-esteem, but when i truly realized how much i didn't love myself was when I started dating this one guy. He was my typ

When The Pain Becomes Addicting

One thing about the love addict is that pain is all too familiar and comfortable. Do you ever ask yourself why do you continue to attract the same type of emotionally unavailable men? Maybe its because this is what you know as “normal”. I had mentioned before, that when you grow up in an environment where dysfunction is normalized, this tends to become your “normal”. Nevertheless, you may find yourself ending one relationship, just to enter into another relationship with a different person, but the same type of emotionally unavailable man. I came to this realization that our definition of a “normal healthy relationship “ is so skewed. What exactly is a normal healthy relationship. My father has never been in my life and my step father was physically and emotionally abusive. I learned that my “normal “ was tolerance. Learning to tolerate behaviors that were not normal, because if he was not hitting me then it was “ healthy in my eyes”. I learned to become comfortable in pain. I u