I was sitting in the office of my colleague and we started talking about relationships. She is an older lady and has been in the field for over 20+ years, so I always love to get her feedback and wisdom. While I was talking to her, it dawned on me that many people learned how to have an UN-healthy relationship; never really learned what a healthy relationship consisted of. When you look back at some of the relationships you’ve had, do you ever ask yourself what was I thinking? How did I ever tolerate or accept something like this? Its funny how when we remove ourself from a toxic or unhealthy relationship and have time ( Sometimes you have nothing but time after a relationship ends) to reflect on it, we find that what we had was never deserving of our energy or our time. See, the problem with having a pattern of unhealthy relationships, is we have nothing to judge what a healthy relationship is. In other words we have nothing to compare it too, because we have never seen or known one. Can you tell me one healthy relationship that you know of and what traits makes this relationship healthy?
If we never take the time to learn what a healthy relationship consist of, we will continue to attract the same type of people into our lives because we think that “this is normal” or we find someone who maybe slightly differ from our pattern of men and think that this time will be different, when in reality they are the same person we continue to attract, just dressed up in a slightly different attire. Im going to be honest, I have always struggled with healthy versus unhealthy. Sometimes healthy is not as exciting and chaotic as we are used too, so this may appear as “boring” for us. Things need to change….We MUST change or we will continue to attract the same type of unhealthy men in our lives and wonder to our self….What is wrong with me?
So what do I do? First and foremost, you find out what a healthy relationship looks like and you find someone who has a healthy relationship and surround yourself with more people like that so that you can attract those same things in your life. Share your thoughts below, would love to hear your feedback.
To be honest I personally don't know any healthy relationship. Or - to be more precise, most of relationships around me (mine included) usually look healthy for the first 6 - 12 months or so. After that, they either break up or it becomes toxic. No real role-models here, unfortunately.
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