Being The Other Woman....

Many women want a man who will love and respect them, but they do not love or respect themselves.  Growing up, I used to hear older people say " treat people the way you would want to be treated”. Unfortunately, I think a lot of women treat men better than they treatment themselves in the name of love. I've always struggled with loving and valuing myself, especially when it came to relationship with men. I remember as a teenager, fantasizing, how i wanted my boyfriends to treat me. I wanted to be treated like a princess and if they treated me anything less than, out the door the would go. When i reflect back on this, i cant help but laugh because Ive dated men who I tolerated so many things from and that was no way to treat a princess if you ask me. Always, I realized how much i lacked self -love when I was in college. I always struggled with my self-esteem, but when i truly realized how much i didn't love myself was when I started dating this one guy. He was my type; the tall, light and handsome. I remember meeting him at a club, he wasn't local, but lived a few hours away from me and was visiting that weekend. He ended up hitting it off fast and he would visit me every other week and spend a few hours with me, however never wanted to spend the night. He had asked me to be his girlfriend, but although i liked him, i wanted to take things slow. Nevertheless, one particular night, I asked him to stay. He became really angry and rude towards me, but i didn't care. I wanted him to be with him that night more than I cared to be with myself. I do not mean in a sexual way, more so on a deeper imitate level. Needless to say, I begged him…you know the begging where you get on your knees, toss your self respect and dignity out the window and say to them both “ ummmmmm bye , see you later, Ill come get you when i am ready to love myself”. Lets just say he left anyway and to make it short, had a girlfriend that i knew nothing about. 

As you read this, you may say to yourself that's it? I've done far worst things for a man. We tell ourselves that if we love them more than we love ourselves, then maybe they will love us in return. I am here to tell you that this isn't true . When a man respects and loves you, you will NEVER have to DISRESPECT yourself or COMPROMISE yourself to make him happy. When you lack self love, you attach a death sentence to your forehead that states “ will tolerate anything for love”. We must first learn how to love ourselves before we can love another person. When you don't love yourself, you allow people to treat you however they want because there is no guidelines or boundaries set in place. What breaks my heart, are these women who enter into relationship with other men who have a significant other or are married because they feel as though they have the “upper hand” or that they are “avoiding pain”; when in reality that is a sign of self-hate. When you love yourself you don't allow yourself to be an option to someone else. You realize your value and worth as a person and you act accordingly. Ive seem women degrade themselves by playing the role of the “other woman”. Thinking that “well she is the one getting played, because I get all the benefits without the title”. Regardless, of what you tell yourself, to him you are nothing more than mere entertainment because at the end of the day, he will never choose his woman over you and if he would, that probably isn't the man you want in your life.  Stop allowing these men to treat you less than by treating yourself more than!