Love Junkie

( Picture is take from IG:@peniel_enchill) I was always afraid of love. The way that I loved was always painful. Love to me was making sacrifices... sacrifices that meant compromising parts of me to make my partner happy. I became so unhappy because I no longer knew who I was. I was whomever he needed or wanted me to be. I became an expert on camouflaging.    For many women who have to start over, this seems almost impossible; because they may feel as though they no longer have an identity. He was their "identity". I never knew how to set healthy boundaries. All I knew was how to tolerate pain. Eventually pain becomes so comfortable that if you don't experience it, apart of you feels like you are not living. In reality, I was dying internally. How many times have you sacrifice parts of you in the name of love, to the point where it hurts. You feel like the only way that you could ever feel alive again...is by the same person who created the pain in the first...

Have you ever been obsessed with someone? I mean obsessed to the point where you cant stop thinking about them. From the moment you wake up, to the moment you go to bed. They occupied your mind. It may even feel like you have no control; you try to distract yourself, however you find your mind returning back to your point of contact. You obsess about what this person is doing, fantasize about what you would like this person to be doing or what your plans for the future may entail. Let me tell you how fantasy can be very toxic for the love addict. My mom used to make this joke to me that “ I marry everyone I date”, meaning that by the time we get together, I've already picked out the wedding dress, the venue, where we are going to live and what our children will look like. The thing about obsessing and fantasizing about someone, is that often you create an image of this person that does not exist and you live this image in your head. When the person does not live up to th...